twenty-seven – the brink of something big

I’ve written in the past that my mom is a firm believer in visiting the ocean. She taught me the beauty of salt water lapping at your feet and sand squishing between your toes.

More importantly, she taught me the importance of standing at the edge of infinity and remembering your smallness.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I’m standing on the edge of the ocean doing just that.


I realize that might sound a little strange. After all, the view out of my window at the moment shows a rather snowy college campus in the fifth biggest city of the United States, not a bright and sunny beach with blue water and soft sand. A better way to phrase this would, perhaps, go along the lines of I feel like I’m standing on the edge of something big. 

Okay, sure, a lot of that is due to the fact that Basia & I officially started publishing an internet-based literary magazine today (The Next Post. It’s awesome. It’s pretty. It’s fun. I’m biased. Check it out anyway!).  Another, equally large chunk should be chalked up to thinking about the fact that in less than five months I will be a college graduate.

What?! Isn’t school supposed to take four years or something? That’s what I’d heard. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it only takes two. Wait, it has been four. Okay. Huh. How about that. Maybe my life was switched to hyperspeed while I was distracted by all of the beautiful Irish cliffs. Maybe this boils down to the phrase time flies.

Spoiler alert: it totally does.

Fly, that is.

Still, there you have it: in five months (assuming my grades come in from TCD… which they haven’t. At least, not yet. I live in hope~), I will have completed this next stage of my career as a student. This means a lot of things for me, of course, but at the moment the highlight is people asking So… what’s next?

Well. I’ll tell you when I know myself. Still, since this seems to be an effective medium for reaching people that sometimes want to talk to me about my life, here are all the things I might be doing in the next year:

  • moving. this one’s looking pretty likely, actually; at the moment I’m investigating good ol’ C’ville as well as Rochester. (Hello, large Deaf population! How awesome would that be?! Answer: very.)
  • finding a job/working. this is the one people actually are trying to find out about when they ask what I’m doing next. I don’t have a job yet. I’m in that category of searching for employment. Hopefully that will change soon.
  • writing. I certainly don’t plan to stop (whether blogging or any other form), so in all likelihood this and my other blog will still be up and running.
  • applying to med school. This one’s a definite. I’m taking at least one, but more likely two, gap years. Then it’s on to the dream.
  • saving $$$. Another obvious one. Med school is expensive. Visiting Ireland is expensive. I want to do both of these extremely expensive things. Soon.
  • editing. I blame Basia for this one. This lit mag was her idea, dash it all! Still, I wouldn’t change it. The Next Post is already proving to be both challenging and fun.
  • paying off student loans and preparing to have new ones. Ah, the joys of being an aspiring medical school applicant.
  • designing recipes for a funky restaurant
  • working in backstage theatre
  • writing novels in my spare time
  • starting my own bakery
  • entering photography contests
  • winning state fair prizes for baking
  • living in Europe
  • joining the special effects team of Doctor Who

Okay, most of those last ones are jokes. In fact, they’re all jokes. Not that those things wouldn’t be awesome, they’re just not what I’m counting on doing with my life (although, to be fair, I would love to write a book some day). I’m pretty pumped for med school and the slow, arduous path that encompasses becoming a doctor.

… of course, if someone from BBC sees this and would like to contact me about working on Doctor Who, please comment on this blog post and I will e-mail you directly.


All of these things add up to that feeling I mentioned earlier: that sense of standing on the edge of something bigger than I can imagine, larger than I can see. One thing’s for sure, though. Figuring life out after college is going to be one fascinating ride, whether that’s working a 9-5 job or (eventually) starting medical school. Have I mentioned how excited I am for that? It’s number one on the list of things I’m excited about. I haven’t been this excited about something since I found out I was going to study abroad in Dublin. Seriously.

I’m not quite sure what’s ahead, but I promise I’ll tell you when I find it.


In the meantime, I have homework to do.


1 thought on “twenty-seven – the brink of something big

  1. That mom of yours sounds so wise. Or maybe you are just a little generous with your comments. Either way, I bet she is completely confident that you will make wise decisions in the weeks and months ahead. In some ways, I bet she has no fear for your future because she sees the person standing on the brink of it. Full heart.

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